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Vodafone ZooZoo 2010 calander


Tea shop from Kerela


........... To Ani Tee ...........



....... Ek Aisa Bhi Tension .......

Ladki ne aapse lift mangi,

Raste mein uski tabiat kaharab ho gai.

Aapko TENSION !!

Aap hospital le gaye,

Doctor bola aap baap banne wale ho

Aapko TENSION !!

Aap bole Mai iska baap nahi !

Phir ladki se pucha

Ladki boli yehi baap hai.

Aapko aur TENSION.
Phir police ayi

Aapka medical check up hua.

Report aayi.

Aap to kabhi baap hi nahi ban sakte.

Aapko aur TENSION !!

Aap ne khuda ka shukar ada kiya aur aap Khushi Khushi ghar gaye !

Aur phir socha Ki ghar pe jo bachchay hai

Wo kiska hai????????
Aapko Phir TENSION !

प्रामाणिक (ला)कोड तोड्या कलियुगातील गोष्ट आहे.

प्रामाणिक (ला)कोड तोड्या कलियुगातील गोष्ट आहे.

एका गावात दोन (ला)कोड तोडे म्हणजेच साहेबी भाषेत Software Engineers राहत होते. पोटाची खळगी भरण्यासाठी दोघेही कोडिंग करायचे. त्यांतील एक कोड तोड्या प्रामाणिक होता तर दुसरा लबाड होता. सकाळी उठायचे, न्याहरी करून ऑफिस मधे जायचे, Source Tree वर चढून कोड तोडायचे (cut copy paste), दुपारच्याला सब वे मधून बांधून आणलेले फुट लॉंग खायचे, अंमळ विश्रांती घ्यायची, आणि मग उशिरापर्यंत राब राब राबून अंधार पडला की घरी परतायचे असा त्यांचा दिनक्रम असे.

एके दिवशी काय झाले, प्रामाणिक कोड तोड्याचे कामात मन लागत नव्हते. म्हणून आपल्या खुराड्या(cube) मधे बसून कोड तोडण्या ऐवजी तो ऑफिसच्या आवारातल्या पोहण्याच्या तलावापाशी जाऊन बसला. तलावाकाठी बसून लॅपटॉप घेऊन कोड तोडू लागला. बघता बघता त्याला जराशी डुलकी लागली आणि त्याचा लॅपटॉप तलावात पडला. प्रामाणिक कोड तोड्याला खडबडून जाग आली आणि लॅपटॉप पाण्यात पडलेला पाहून तो रडू लागला. त्याला रडताना पाहून एक जलदेवता पाण्यातून बाहेर आली आणि तिने कोड तोड्याला विचारले,

"कोड तोड्या, तू का बरे रडत आहेस ?"

कोड तोड्याने रडत रडत तिला सांगितले

"माझा लॅपटॉप कोड तोडता तोडता पाण्यात पडला. माझ्याकडे दुसरा लॅपटॉप नाही. माझी उद्या डेडलाईन आहे. ती पूर्ण झाली नाही तर माझे कसे होणार ? घरी म्हातारे आई वडील आहेत. त्यांचे कसे होणार ?"

जलदेवता म्हणाली, "रडू नकोस. मी तुझा लॅपटॉप पाण्यातून बाहेर काढून देते."

इतके म्हणून जलदेवतेने पाण्यात बुडी मारली आणि ती एक लॅपटॉप घेऊन बाहेर आली. कोड तोड्याने कन्फिगरेशन पाहिले. हा लॅपटॉप 4 GB RAM चा होता. प्रामाणिक कोड तोड्या म्हणाला,

"हा लॅपटॉप माझा नव्हे. माझा लॅपटॉप तर 1 GB RAM चा होता."

जलदेवतेने पाण्यात पुन्हा बुडी मारली आणि ती अजून एक लॅपटॉप घेऊन बाहेर आली. कोड तोड्याने कन्फिगरेशन पाहिले. हा लॅपटॉप 2 GB RAM चा होता. प्रामाणिक कोड तोड्या म्हणाला,

"हा लॅपटॉप माझा नव्हे. माझा लॅपटॉप तर 1 GB RAM चा होता."

जलदेवतेने पाण्यात तिस-यांदा बुडी मारली आणि ती एक लॅपटॉप घेऊन बाहेर आली. कोड तोड्याने कन्फिगरेशन पाहिले. हा लॅपटॉप 1 GB RAM चा होता. प्रामाणिक कोड तोड्या म्हणाला,

"हाच माझा लॅपटॉप !!"

जलदेवता कोड तोड्याच्या प्रामाणिकपणावर खूश झाली आणि तिने ते तीनही लॅपटॉप प्रामाणिक कोड तोड्याला बक्षीस देऊन टाकले.

दुस-या दिवशी प्रामाणिक कोड तोड्याच्या मित्राने त्याच्याकडे नवीन लॅपटॉप पाहिला. त्याने विचारले, "मित्रा, या इकॉनॉमी मधे तुझ्याकडे नवीन लॅपटॉप कुठून आला ?" प्रामाणिक कोड तोड्याने त्याला जलदेवतेबद्दल सांगितले. ते ऐकून लबाड कोड तोड्याच्या मनात लोभ निर्माण झाला.

दुस-या दिवशी लबाड कोड तोड्या पोहण्याच्या तलावापाशी जाऊन बसला. तलावाकाठी बसून लॅपटॉप घेऊन कोड तोडू लागला. थोड्या वेळाने त्याने आपला लॅपटॉप मुद्दाम तलावात टाकला आणि मोठ्याने रडू लागला. त्याला रडताना पाहून जलदेवता पाण्यातून बाहेर आली आणि तिने कोड तोड्याला विचारले,

"कोड तोड्या, तू का बरे रडत आहेस ?"

कोड तोड्याने रडत रडत तिला सांगितले,

"माझा लॅपटॉप कोड तोडता तोडता पाण्यात पडला. माझ्याकडे दुसरा लॅपटॉप नाही. माझी उद्या डेडलाईन आहे. ती पूर्ण झाली नाही तर माझे कसे होणार ? घरी म्हातारे आई वडील आणि बायका पोरे - नाही नाही - बायको आणि पोरे आहेत. त्यांचे कसे होणार ?"

जलदेवता म्हणाली,

"रडू नकोस. मी तुझा लॅपटॉप पाण्यातून बाहेर काढून देते."

इतके म्हणून जलदेवतेने पाण्यात बुडी मारली. या खेपेस थोडे Optimization करून ती तीन लॅपटॉप घेऊन बाहेर आली आणि कोड तोड्याला विचारले,

"यातला कोणता लॅपटॉप तुझा होता ?"

लबाड कोड तोड्याने कन्फिगरेशन्स पाहिली. तो म्हणाला,

"माझा लॅपटॉप 4 GB RAM चा होता."

जलदेवतेला लबाड कोड तोड्याचा खोटेपणा आवडला नाही आणि ती लबाड कोड तोड्याला कोणताच लॅपटॉप न देता अदृश्य झाली.


कलियुगाचा महिमा :

प्रामाणिक कोड तोड्या तीन लॅपटॉप घेऊन आयुष्यभर कोडिंगच करत राहिला.
लबाड कोड तोड्याचा लॅपटॉप पाण्यात पडल्याने त्याला कोड लिहिता येईना. मग कंपनीने त्याला मॅनेजर बनवून नवीन ब्लॅकबेरी घेऊन दिला :)

Dr. Abdul Kalam's Letter to Every Indian

Dr. Abdul Kalam's Letter to Every Indian
APJ Abdul Kalam at SpeechWhy is the media here so negative?
Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, our achievements?
We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing success stories but we refuse to acknowledge them. Why?
We are the first in milk production.
We are number one in Remote sensing satellites.
We are the second largest producer of wheat.
We are the second largest producer of rice.
Look at Dr. Sudarshan , he has transferred the tribal village into a self-sustaining, self-driving unit. There are millions of such achievements but our media is only obsessed in the bad news and failures and disasters.
I was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper. It was the day after a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken place. The Hamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of a Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed his desert into an orchid and a granary. It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. The gory details of killings, bombardments, deaths, were inside in the newspaper, buried among other news.

APJ Abdul Kalam at Speech1In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime.. Why are we so NEGATIVE? Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreign things? We want foreign T.Vs, we want foreign shirts. We want foreign technology.
Why this obsession with everything imported. Do we not realize that self-respect comes with self-reliance? I was in Hyderabad giving this lecture, when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what her goal in life is. She replied: I want to live in a developed India . For her, you and I will have to build this developed India . You must proclaim. India is not an under-developed nation; it is a highly developed nation.
..
YOU say that our government is inefficient.
YOU say that our laws are too old.
YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage.
YOU say that the phones don't work, the railways are a joke. The airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination.
YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits.

YOU say, say and say. What do YOU do about it?
Take a person on his way to Singapore . Give him a name - 'YOURS'. Give him a face - 'YOURS'. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your International best. In Singapore you don't throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in the stores. YOU are as proud of their Underground links as they are.. You pay $5 (approx. Rs. 60) to drive through Orchard Road (equivalent of Mahim Causeway or Pedder Road) between 5 PM and 8 PM. YOU come back to the parking lot to punch your parking ticket if you have over stayed in a restaurant or a shopping mall irrespective of your status identity… In Singapore you don't say anything, DO YOU? YOU wouldn't dare to eat in public during Ramadan, in Dubai .. YOU would not dare to go out without your head covered in Jeddah.
YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchange in London at 10 pounds (Rs.650) a month to, 'see to it that my STD and ISD calls are billed to someone else.'YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph (88 km/h) in Washington and then tell the traffic cop, 'Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I am so and so's son. Take your two bucks and get lost.' YOU wouldn't chuck an empty coconut shell anywhere other than the garbage pail on the beaches in Australia and New Zealand ..
Why don't YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo ? Why don't YOU use examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston ??? We are still talking of the same YOU. YOU who can respect and conform to a foreign system in other countries but cannot in your own. You who will throw papers and cigarettes on the road the moment you touch Indian ground. If you can be an involved and appreciative citizen in an alien country, why cannot you be the same here in India ?

APJ Abdul Kalam at Speech2In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has done the job. Same in Japan ..
Will the Indian citizen do that here?' He's right. We go to the polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility.
We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative. We expect the government to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage all over the place nor are we going to stop to pick a up a stray piece of paper and throw it in the bin. We expect the railways to provide clean bathrooms but we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms.
We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food and toiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity.
This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass on the service to the public.

APJ Abdul Kalam Wings of fireWhen it comes to burning social issues like those related to women, dowry, girl child! and others, we make loud drawing room protestations and continue to do the reverse at home. Our excuse? 'It's the whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my sons' rights to a dowry.' So who's going to change the system?
What does a system consist of? Very conveniently for us it consists of our neighbours, other households, other cities, other communities and the government. But definitely not me and YOU. When it comes to us actually making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along with our families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries far away and wait for a Mr.Clean to come along & work miracles for us with a majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country and run away.
Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in their glory and praise their system. When New York becomes insecure we run to England . When England experiences unemployment, we take the next flight out to the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued and brought home by the Indian government. Everybody is out to abuse and rape the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our conscience is mortgaged to money.

Dear Indians, The article is highly thought inductive, calls for a great deal of introspection and pricks one's conscience too…. I am echoing J. F. Kennedy's words to his fellow Americans to relate to Indians…..
'ASK WHAT WE CAN DO FOR INDIA AND DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO MAKE INDIA WHAT AMERICA AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES ARE TODAY'
Lets do what India needs from us.
APJ Abdul Kalam E-MailingForward this mail to each Indian for a change instead of sending Jokes or junk mails.
Thank you,
Dr.. Abdul Kalam
I humbly request you to forward this to every Indian…… ……… ………




Heart Touching Poem


Kalnirnay-2010



Heart Touching Poetry

kisi ki khatir mohabbat ki inteha kar do
pyar itna bhi nahi k us ko khuda kar do
mat chaho kisi ko toot kar k
apni he wafaon se us ko bewafa kar do

(Sender = Zaibi)
 

har ek janib samandar hai kinara kyon nahi milta
mere mola bata mujh ko sahara kyon nahi milta
mujhe is shehar main din bhar hazaron log milte hain
jisse chaha, jisse pooja, jisse socha, jisse likha
mere mola mera usse sitara kyon nahi milta

(Sender = Shahid Ali)
 

woh mujh tak aane ki rah chahti thi,
lekin meri mohabbaton ka gawah chati thi
khud aate jate mosmon ki tarhan thi,
aur mere ishq ki inteha chati thi.

(Sender = Shahid Ali)
 

sab kuch hai mere pass par dil ki dawa nahi
dur woh mujh se hai par main khafa nahi
maloom hai ab bhi pyar karta hai mujhe
woh thora ziddi hai magar bewafa nahi

(Sender = Shahid Ali)
 

moom ki tarhan pighalte hue dekha us ko
rut jo badli to badalte hue dekha us ko
jane kis gham ko chupane ki tamana hai usse
aaj har baat pe hanste hue dekha us ko
na jane woh duaon main kisse mangti hai?
hath uthate he sisakte hue dekha us ko
phir dua k liye hath uthaya hum ne
jab muqadar se ulajhte hue dekha us ko.

(Sender = Shahid Ali)
 

- Usay Jab Yaad Aayega Wo Pehli Bar Ka Milna...

- To Pal Pal Yaad Rakhega Yaa Sub Kuch Bhool Jayega..?

- Usay Jab Yaad Ayega
Gaye Mousam Ka Har Lamha...

- To Khud Hi Ro Parega..
Ya Khud Hi Muskurayega..?

- Usay Jab Yaad Ayega
K Saawan Laut Aaya Hai..

- Bulawa Bheje Ga Mujh ko..
Ya Khud Hi Laut Ayega..?

- Usay Jab Yaad Ayega
K Main Kaise Muskurata Tha..

- To Ankhen Muskrayengi..
Ya Daman Bheeg Jayega!!

- Usay Jab Yaad Ayega
K Main Kaise Naam Leta Tha..

- To MERA Naam Likkhega..
Ya APNA BHOOL JAYEGA?
(Sender = Zaibi)

farz karo tum kuch na pao, apna aap luta kar bhi
farz karo koi mukar he jaye, sachi qasam utha kar bhi,
aur farz karo ye farz na ho, sachi ek haqeeqat ho,
tere ishq k har raste pe jana ek qayamat ho,
aur suna hai ye qayamat khon jigar ka piti hai
tum to jana farz karo gaye, mujh pe ye sab beeti hai,
(Sender = Shahid Ali)
 

mehfil main hasna to humara mizaj ban gaya,
tanhai main rona ek raaz ban gaya,
dil k dard ko chehre se zahir na hone diya,
yahi zindagi jene ka andaaz ban gaya.
(Sender = Zaibi)
 

unse dur jane ka irada na tha
sada sath rahne ka bhi wada na tha
woh yaad na karain gaye ye jante tahe hum
par itni jaldi bhul jain gaye ye andaza na tha.

(Sender = Ramsha)
 

ek lafz mohabbat hai es se kar k dekho
tum barbad na ho jato to mera naam badal dena
ek lafz muqadar hai, es se lar k dekho
tum haar na jao to mera naam badal dena,
ek lafz wafa ka hai, zamane main nahi milta,
kahain se dhoond kar lao to mera naam badal dena,
ek lafz aansu hai, es se dil main chupa kar dekho,
tum aankhon se na bah jaye to mera naam badal dena,
ek lafz judai hai, es se seh kar to dekho,
tum toot kar na bikhar jao to mera naam badal dena

(Sender = Zaibi)

Shilpa's Wedding Album

Shilpa's Wedding Album




Why One is 1 and Two is 2..???????




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